I cried on my way to work today.
I didn’t cry because I was sad, I cried because I was thankful. Thankful to God, the universe, whatever that higher power may be. I do not consider myself to be a religious person [organized religion] but I do consider myself a spiritual person. I went to Catholic school for 12 years, but as I got older, I questioned the faith more and more. I understood the morals and values of religion, but I didn’t understand how a specific religion could say it was “the one”.
I’ve always believed that their is something greater than me and that as we move on to another ‘plane’, we will be some form of connected energy in a place that is peaceful. I also stand by the values many religions teach us: to be kind, treat others right, and be the best person you can be… (why wouldn’t you want that?)
So back to why I was crying.
Yesterday was a snow day for my family and pretty much everyone on the East Coast. Like other snow days, we took the kids sledding. We get to the place and right away I didn’t feel right, because at the bottom of the hill, was a wall a short distance away. I tell my husband about my reservations and he jumps on the sled goes down the hill and stops ahead of it no problem. Still uneasy, my plan was to go down and stay at the bottom to stop the kids if they get too close.
I jumped on the sled and it went down so fast my sled turned around and I smacked my head hard into the brick wall. It started bleeding – bad. I didn’t feel much pain because, I was in shock and didn’t want to upset the kids. I was also really mad at myself for not listening to my gut feeling.
I went to the hospital and got seven staples in my head and was sent home within an hour – no signs of a concussion (thankfully). I spent the day mad and annoyed with myself, “why, why, why” going over it in my head.
But today, I woke up and was extremely thankful. I know how hard I hit the wall and it could’ve been a lot worse, and that scares me.
I cried in the car on my way to work and just kept saying “thank you”. I am not one to pray, or so I thought. I couldn’t tell you the last time I said a Hail Mary or prayed for anything (well at funerals I usually say “please watch over [name] soul”). But today I realized that I had been wrong. I do pray. When I think about the last year, I can say that each time something happened and the outcome was somewhat good, I prayed (A prayer of gratitude) – I just didn’t know it. Maybe it’s because it was after the fact, or I didn’t think a thanks even fell into the form of prayer. Maybe it’s because I was taught that prayer is formal. Whatever the reason, I know now that I pray, and today I prayed THANKS to whoever it is out there watching over me!
I found out at work that my friend’s daughter, who goes to Catholic school, had her intentions today, and the class prayed for me. All I can say is that I cried more 🙂
Will I be living a more inspired life this year? I sure as hell think so.